How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
