guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he wants to bone in the snuggie
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
how do you play pong handcuffed?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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