Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
