Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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