Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Randomize
