Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
