We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize