My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
