By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
