Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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