thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
These tits shall not be calmed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
