She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
