Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize