youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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