i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
