My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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