yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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