i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
