I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
