Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
