I want to make a zoo with you.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
