Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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