it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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