she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
