It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
wow bdsm is so cute
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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