There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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