The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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