The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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