that's an acceptable place to lick
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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