I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
