Sry I called you an 8
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
