Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
