Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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