she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
