He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
