I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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