i just google imaged poop.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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