Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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