I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
