what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
