i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
