These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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