Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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