My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
