im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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