I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
