You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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