So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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