yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
