Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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