none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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