dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
