Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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