got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize