He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
