Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
