I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
