Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
