I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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