when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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