She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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