TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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