Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
